Im 18 years old, but when i was 10 i was having nightmares so went into my parents bed. They were fast asleep and didnt know i went in. Later that night my dad was groping me 'down there', i didnt know what was going ,BUT i looked over and he was fast asleep snoring, i was in a state of shock so i didnt do anything. Then my dad woke up and started screaming - he honestly thought i was my mum, because he didnt even know i was in the bed. So it was not sexual abuse becuse it was a complete accident, and was my fault.
Ive spoken with my mum about it a few times and she said my dad is disturbed by it and its ruined their sex life.
So its given me all these mixed emotions: guilt for ruining my parents sex life, but im also slightly disturbed, and because it was innocently/accidently done i feel like im being selfish for being this way. To be honest i dont know how to feel?
Me and my sister get along really well with my , hes friendly and funny, but he's never been one of those 'cuddly' dads. I told her about what happened and she just was like 'aww our poor parents, your such an idiot'.
I have a weird attitude towards men, and am still a virgin. It takes me a lot to trust a guy, and if i ever do anything intimate i kind of feeling bad afterwards - could this be to do with what happened?
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